A Shot of Anxiety

Everyone knows how it is…you need to focus…say, like maintaining your wits about you in a crowded conference room, hideously decorated in the most muted colors that looks like barf, biting your tongue while listening to choice bird droppings of business nonsense, hoping you can resist the urge to scream unacceptable obscenities about the room, like…”this sucks”.

What can you do to get a grip?

How about accepting your anxiety, coming to terms with it and embracing it in all its wonder?

Workplace anxiety isn’t always a bad thing – in some cases it can help boost employee performance – via utcs.utoronto.ca

New research on anxiety in the workplace has uncovered some intriguing findings: in some instances it can help boost employee performance.

“There are a lot of theories and models of anxiety that exist, but this is the first model situated in the workplace focusing on employees,” says co-author Julie McCarthy from the Department of Management at U of T Scarborough and the Rotman School of Management.

Here’s another theory….anxiety sucks!

Whether it’s from having to step outside the house each morning and get in the never ending line of waiting…waiting to get to work, waiting to get a cup of coffee, waiting for the dawn of thought to occur from your boss, their boss, or the co-worker who thinks the office is their personal living room, taking off their shoes, filing finger nails, continually blowing their noses or tapping incessantly on their desk top…the workplace never ceases to provide ways to heighten one’s levels of anxiety.

“After all, if we have no anxiety and we just don’t care about performance, then we are not going to be motivated to do the job,” says lead author Bonnie Hayden Cheng.

Somehow, having no anxiety is equated to not caring. And not caring equates to not being motivated to do the job.  Mercy!

512px-Trollback_+_Company_officeWouldn’t it be lovely to be able to reduce one’s anxiety at the slave factory by simply uttering the truths that anyone with half a working brain knows to be true?  Of course it would.  But seeing that care and sensitivity are the hallmarks of the regular people who do the actual work at today’s corporations, where CEO’s haul away mountains of cash and the worker’s have to piss in a bottle, rather than experience the “luxury” of a regular restroom break in order to make their appointed rounds, or even more dastardly, have to go on some form of government assistance so that their bellies can be provided sustenance from other corporations’  putrid offerings by the way of fast food, opportunities to experience not just mild forms of anxiety but levels that lead the common sense thinking worker to say, “f*** this…I just don’t care anymore”, are the everyday at the modern corporate rag hole.

If more of the working class expressed their anxieties regularly, telling their bosses that they understand their sense of inadequacy, with being promoted based solely on the notion that the previous idiot boss thought they’d fit in well with the organization or that they would continue to provide “cover” for management’s colossal ineptness – things might improve at the steel structure of incompetence because anxiety levels would subside due to workers ability to express their inner selves and tell management to drop dead.

While the authors do not condone inducing anxiety in employees to foster high performance, the good news for employees who chronically experience anxiety at work, or who experience it from time to time, is that it can help performance if they can self-regulate their behavior.

Ah…nice of them not to condone inducing anxiety in employees.

Sadly, the average worker has visions of taking over their bosses position, with hopes of regular restroom visits and corporate perks only afforded other management types, that being to gab for hours on end with other management types about inconsequential bullshit. This is what most management does these days.

Lollipops and candy canes falling from the sky are only afforded to the swamp of CEO’s. We rarely hear of CEO’s performance, unless, of course they are either acquiring more billions or not enough. Employees, on the other hand, are preached to often, and usually in condescending jargon that they need to either embrace anxiety or self-regulate their behavior for their performance reviews, and for the corporations bottom line – profits for shareholders and CEO’s above all else.

“The USA is a beautiful country…when you take the corrupt corporations and their government minions out of the equation.” ― Steven Magee


Tonight’s musical offering:

(glorious music to reduce anxiety)

Stravinsky’s “Firebird” ~ Gustavo Dudamel and the Gothenburg Symphony

(headphones on, full screen and maximum volume for full sensory enjoyment of this 4 minute gem)

Photo credit (front page): http://www.unsplash.com/@melwasser

Photo credit: By Trollbackco [CC BY-SA 4.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0)%5D, from Wikimedia Commons

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