Joe D is back to dish out his sage advice, hangin’ at the corner of St. Paul and Madness Avenue, telling it like it is. Let’s check in with him….
So, I’m doing my usual thing at the corner, about to go into the drug store for a pack of smokes when this guy, older than me, pops off about this crazy shit of how the Russians stole the election, how some guy named Putane, or something like that was overseeing the whole thing…the dude’s going off right in my ear, like I give a shit or something.
I let the guy rant for a bit ’cause I absolutely love listening to lunatics, if you catch my sarcasm here, and this old dumpster keeps drummin’ away that we gotta do something or the whole country is going down the tubes. Certifiable, dude. Certifiable.
So, I’m rollin’ one, standing on the corner there…rollin’ a cigarette with my tobacco, and this jack ass starts in on me about smokin’ weed. Dude, check it out, I’m pulling the f-ing tobacco out of the package the shit came in and this jive ass thinks I’m doing weed. So, I say to him…”dude, what gives with you? This is f’ing tobacco. Do you want to smell the shit, or what?”
He mumbles some BS about weed being illegal in most states, starts in again with the Russia BS and so I’m thinking I need to unload on this guy. So I say to him, “dude, what the hell is your problem? You think that God’s gonna put some f-ing plant down here…a true weed, dude, where it grows like a weed, smells like a weed yet can f*** us up? Come on, dude.”
So the shitster comes back at me, talking crap about how the government is watching out for us, we have laws, we need to stop the frickin’ Russians, that I shouldn’t be smoking in public and blah, blah, blah that I finally have to scream at the guy…”oh yeah, dude, I’ll tell you what. When you stop screwing around on your wife, stop looking at porn day and night and stop with the BS propaganda… I’ll stop smoking.” Dude, the guys face shattered and he limped away, muttering to himself.
So, next time some some guy goes off on you about Russia and smoking, you know what to say.