Sanctuary Campus Supporters Willing To Ignore Other Laws
Excerpt from the article follows:
“Students at George Washington University, site of a recent walkout to demand a “sanctuary campus” to protect illegal immigrant students, say they favor defiance of other federal laws, too.
- Several students said they would like to make the campus a “sanctuary” from student loan debt, while others favored exemptions from underage drinking laws.
- Some students even felt they should be given a pass on final exams due to the stress of the election, explaining that “it’s really hard to focus on your studies when there’s so much else going on.”
We here at Dispatches from the Asylum thought we should get an expert opinion on what living in a sanctuary is all about. For consultation on this important matter, we went to our Dean of University Studies, living in his own make-believe world here at the Asylum, distinguished Professor of Hodgepodge, Dr. Thomas A. Renderwunder.
“As most college students today do not appear to have any life skills such as common sense or ability to live in world at large on their own, quite like me throughout my academic career, I propose offering all college students the opportunity to never graduate, thereby keeping them in their permanent bubble sanctuary at the university of their choosing – forever.”
Dr. Renderwunder, sitting at the same desk he has had in his room here at the Asylum for the past 40 years, wearing his ever-present elbow-patched brown cardigan sweater, over white oxford, rumbled shirt, brown knit tie, and plaid pajama bottoms, Dr. Renderwunder took a puff of his pipe and waxed poetically.
“It’s the trend, you know. No one wants to hear anything except that which swirls around in their heads. And why should they? Truth is relevant – relevant to whatever notion one might have at any particular moment. Why subject one’s self to the unpleasantness of life? After all, when you get right down to it, who really has anything but absurd thoughts in their head? That’s why keeping young people in the university, forever, is such a wonderful idea. Why would they go out into the world and test their thinking, their abilities amidst people who haven’t a clue how wonderful it is to be exceptionally delusional? Far better to stay at the university where they have a permanent sanctuary to believe they are whoever they think they are. I myself can attest to how pleasant this mode of living has been for me for the past 40 years where I’ve held to the belief that I am a distinguished Professor of Hodgepodge. I believe, therefore, I am what I believe.”
When Dispatches at the Asylum reminded Dr. Renderwunder that we here at the Asylum have been paying for his room, board, food, clothing, etc., he became a trifle testy, “Of course you haven’t. What nonsense! I’ve made a good living with my writing and teaching during these past 40 years. You see, whether that is actually true or not doesn’t matter. I believe it. That’s all that’s required for it to be my reality. And I think that is what young college students are really saying here. They want their own little make-believe world to be their reality – forever. And I say, wonderful! Let’s make it so.”
Update: After the interview with Dr. Renderwunder, the good doctor advised he was trying to locate another “sanctuary” to live, citing being uncomfortable and offended with us reminding him over and over, that we have provided his sustenance for the past 40 years. Last we heard, he was at a pay phone at the local convenience store, attempting to locate his fake children for their assistance.