AT THE CORNER OF ST. PAUL AND MADNESS AVENUE

From the Editor’s Desk:

It’s our weekly, Bit o’ Advice from Joe D, while he stands at the corner of St. Paul and Madness Avenue, smoking a cigarette, daring anyone to say anything to him. Sagely-looking, scruffy, a bit disheveled, contrary, and above all politically incorrect is a brief character description of Joe D, an old friend of ours.  Wise advice is always on the tip of his tongue for anyone who even dares to cross him.  So we gave him a microcassette voice recorder to record a dispatch whenever the mood hit.  Here’s his first dispatch, transcribed by our Editor-in-Chief, Henry…

“I’m standing at the corner, dude, and I’m telling ya’, people can eat my shit!  It’s bitchin’ smoking-918884_640cold right now, I’m down to my last cigarette and have to go into the goddamn corner store to get a pack.  The old hag at the counter always gives me the business about smoking.  I’m frickin’ 55 years old and this hag is the worst bitch ever! (pause) Oh yeah, well eat my shit! (editors note: apparently, somebody said something to Joe D about smoking)

“Anyway, dude…I’ve been meaning to tell you, I was at church last Sunday.  I’m doing my usual thing of skipping the bull-shit sermon and catching a smoke.  So, I’m outside the front of the church, minding my own fuckin’ business when this 20-something piece of shit tells me to put my cigarette out. Oh dude!  So, I say to him…’oh yeah, I’ll tell you what, I’ll quit smoking when you stop jacking off’.  Dude…you should have seen the look on his face.  The poor shit sulked away.  I was diggin’ it, man. So…next time some cat wants to say something about having a smoke….you know what to tell ’em.”

 



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