Knock, Knock, Knock…

From The Daily Sheeple –, comes the following article dated November 30th, 2016



While governments across the earth spend billions of dollars every year on space travel, a thought occurred to us here at Dispatches from the Asylum that maybe, even just a small percentage of those billions could be better spent on life here, especially for those who, for whatever reasons, have difficulty getting through life – you know, those less fortunate…the poor, the mentally ill, the homeless.
Just the NASA budget alone for fiscal year 2016 is $18.5 Billion. To get a better handle on that figure, it equates to about $50 Million every day of the year. A lot of cash for taking pictures and watching red dust on Mars. Far be it from us to advise the US Government how to spend the money they take from us each year, but it would seem the decent and compassionate thing to do – get life on Earth as groovy for EVERYONE here before spending $50 million each day on space expeditions for the select few who rock n’ roll through the universe.

Nevertheless, wanting to assist these baffled Chinese astronauts, Dispatches from the Asylum’s Russian Correspondent and Comrade in Space, Yesh’ Moye Der’mooffer, offers up the following possibilities on that perplexing knock, knock, knock:

  • Russian Cosmonaut in far more magnificent space capsule than yours needs half-cup of sugar to complete top secret, deep-space, baking experiments.
  • Russian Cosmonaut in another far more magnificent space capsule than yours needs bottle of vodka to complete top secret, ‘black-hole’, drinking experiments.
  • Lighting rig from sound-stage came down on top of capsule.
  • Bratty kids of fellow ‘astronaut’ shooting marbles off of capsule hull and floor of studio.
  • Yer muffler’s on the ‘fritz’. Nearest mechanic is approximately 3 blocks north and 7 blocks east of your current position. Right next to ‘Bob’s Berzerko Lounge’.
  • Your external ‘space-camera’ needs to be tightened, dumbski!
  • Elon Musk doing some last minute touch-ups on capsule exterior for NASSA photo-session later that day.
  • Hot ‘space-waitress’ is ready to take lunch order.
  • NASA astronauts knocking on the door, out doing a little extra space walking, figuring if they don’t spend the money in their budget, they’ll lose it.
  • Ghost of Mao Tse Tung wants to shoot a ‘selfie’ with you.

Fly on, comrade!


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