Overseas reporter for Dispatches from the Asylum, Ms. Ukusi Menya, former counter espionage agent with TASS News Agency/Moscow, runner-up in Ms. Moscow Pageant and Grand Chess Champion in Greater Upper Volgo Chess Championships weighs in on the following little piece of gastronomical insanity from the Independent (www.independent.co.uk/us):
“The Nordic Food Lab Wants You To Eat Blood, Insects And Brains To Save The World”
(Editors note: Please have patience with her English, she is still learning the language)
Comrades…it is evident that humanity is loosing grip and swallowing every bite of, how you say in English, horsesheet that comes along. Growing up on Volgo Upland in Mother Russia, the thought of eating sheet, blood, brains never come to our minds as, it appears, we use brains we have telling us that such eating of brains, sheet, urine and blood is bad for health of body system.
Now, pesky and demented gastro assassins are saying to us that it is good for planet to eat such “derrmo”, which is Russian word for “sheet”, by the way. Who are such clowns that they decide planet will end if grossness of derrmo isn’t eaten?
“One of the main problems with sustainability is we are completely disconnected to food,” some guy in article says. What does this mean? In Mother Russia, we see food, we buy food that is appetiting, we cook food in appeasing way, then we eat food. Thusly, we are connected to food.
Guy in article goes on to write…”Currently, researchers are working on how to make edible insects – from ants to larvae – more appetising to the uninitiated.” As I can tell you as a bombshell-looking chic with actually brains to match my beauties, we do not eat such ants and larvae because human gastro system not designed by God to handle such derrmo. This is common sense. But these jack-nuts say we are “uninitiated”. What does this mean? Sounds like another pesky know-it-all saying to you to do some crazy stunt in hopes that you do it, so that he gets big laugh from other idiot friends of his and joke is on you!
Whoever guy in this article is, he goes on to write…“At the moment, gastronomy that is high-quality and sustainable is only available for people who are in the position to buy luxury produce. We want good food available for everyone. That is our main goal.” What kind of special nonsensicality is this? Good food is available for everyone, well, almost everyone except these animals who would have you belief that what goes in garbage should go in stomach.
And finally, guy writing this stuff ends thusly, “Embracing other cultures is one of our main aims. Recognising other cultures and someone else’s values teaches us something and changes our approach to food. We are living now in an international system and we should really recognise ourselves as world citizens.” HA! Complete joke and shows this numbski thinks he has advancement to being world citizen because he lets shlock from brain escape to mouth, when in, how you say, reality, such shlock is coming from his mudak! I leave that one to your imaging!
So upsetting reading such things are that I have to listen to magnificent Russian composter, Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky- in performance of powerful Russian hymn, Marche Slave, to come back to balance and common sense. I have to tell you that performance is by Orquesta Sinfónica Juvenil de Caracas, comprised of youth, who is doubtful eating blood, derrmo, urine and brains for how you say, sustainability. No, as their flawless playing of Marche Slave tells me they have not been infectuanized by cow plop in brain, as we say in Upper Volgo region of Mother Russia. This cow plop in brains seems to have taken over Westeranized minds to the point where their brains short circuit and demand derrmo, brains and blood for tasting.
So let me please counter such crazy crap – just sit back and turn volume way up and listen to beautiful sounds of performance included in clip below. I don’t hear of any youth orchestras from USA/Sweden, Europe or Nordic regions making such sounds. Must be because Southern Hemisphere inhabitants have not steeped to eating what comes out of anus.
Good bye and remember… Я бу́ду борщ с больши́м коли́чеством смета́ны
(Editors note: Я бу́ду борщ с больши́м коли́чеством смета́ны translates to: I’ll take borshch with lots of sour cream)
Marche Slave – Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky – Orquesta Sinfónica Juvenil de Caracas