Ingenuity is at the top of many of corporations Christmas list each and every year.
The shyte-lords of the mundane in the mind-numbing halls of the corporate world have to come up with a variety of ways to keep their workers motivated, producing at peak levels and zoned in to the company’s moronic slogans and goals.
Any corporate behemoth needs a finely tuned and mostly brain-dead workforce to keep the machine running smoothly, so, when Amazon workers in Spain went on strike at a warehouse outside Madrid, what did the genius managers come up with to keep the warehouse producing – stupidity.
Amazon reportedly left police in Spain ‘dumbfounded’ by asking them to intervene in a mass warehouse strike and patrol worker productivity – via businessinsider.com
Amazon asked police in Spain to intervene in a mass strike at a warehouse on the outskirts of Madrid, according to local reports.
Amazon wanted a police presence at the warehouse to ensure that productivity remained high within the fulfilment center, while workers staged their protest outside, according to Spanish newspaper El Confidencial.
A source at Spanish union CCOO, which helped coordinate the strikes, told Business Insider that Amazon “wanted to send the police inside the warehouse to push people to work.”
Amazon strongly denied the claims and called it “the worst kind of misinformation.”
Hey, life can be tough for the richest man in the world keeping his employees grinding away each shift, being treated like robot parts, peeing in bottles because restrooms are hundreds of yards away and where Amazon’s recently ‘manna from the heavens’ pay raise actually cuts workers compensation.
When I was a young punk some 40 years ago, starting in my first job at a giant telecommunications company, it was quite common for anyone to type out a bit of rant, make a few hundred copies of it, and distribute it to the workforce.
No one gave it a second thought, and most times, would simply laugh at the distribution and either toss it in the trash, or, if the rant was particularly stinky, would distribute it even further about the cubicles of inspidness.
The one that came across my desk way back when that has stayed with me some 40 years later is the following:
In the Beginning was the Plan
And then came the Assumptions
And the Assumptions were without form
And The Plan was completely without substance
And the darkness was upon the face of the Workers
And they spoke among themselves, saying
“It is a crock of shit, and it stinketh.”
And the Workers went unto their Supervisors and sayeth
“It is a pail of dung and none may abide by the odor thereof.”
And the Supervisors went unto their Managers and sayeth unto them,
“It is a container of excrement and it is very strong,
Such that none may abide by it.”
And the Managers went unto their Directors and sayeth,
“It is a vessel of fertilizer, and none may abide by its strength.”
And the Directors spoke among themselves, saying one to another,
“It contains that which aids plant growth, and it is very strong.”
And the Directors went unto the Vice Presidents and sayeth unto them,
“It promotes growth and is very powerful.”
And the Vice Presidents went unto the President and sayeth unto him,
“This new plan will actively promote the growth and efficiency of this
Company, and these areas in particular.”
And the President looked upon The Plan,
And saw it was good, and The Plan became Policy.
This is How Shit Happens.
Well, some 40 years later, and we find the shit still happens in the corporate halls of nonsense, trickery, deceit and BS. In other words, nothing has changed except the ability of the average worker to protest. Such manifestations of free thought, speech and expression must be suppressed, along with average worker expressing their dissatisfaction of the wonders of making the minimum wage, while their CEO enjoys a net worth of more than $100 Billion.
“For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much—the wheel, New York, wars and so on—whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man—for precisely the same reasons.” –
Tonight’s musical offering:
Oscar Peterson (piano) plays ‘Jingle Bells’ from his Christmas album.
Photo credit: http://www.unsplash.com/@jessedo81