In a stunning display of continued imbecility, ‘the’ AP (Associated Press) demonstrates what it’s like to have a case of collective non-thought, where any type of thinking and reasoning is thrown out the window and hysterically stupid and woke decisions are made for the world to laugh at:
And Then They Came for “The”: Associated Press Warns Use of The Article Can Be “Dehumanizing” – via zerohedge.com
The AP declared that:
“We recommend avoiding general and often dehumanizing ‘the’ labels such as the poor, the mentally ill, the French, the disabled, the college-educated. Instead, use wording such as people with mental illnesses. And use these descriptions only when clearly relevant.”
And though the above is NOT satirical, the following IS…but one would be hard-pressed to disqualify one over the other for satire on planet vaudeville.
Lucky Charms Unveils New Ukrainian Flag Marshmallow – babylonbee.com
GOLDEN VALLEY, MN — Move aside, purple horseshoes! General Mills announced today an exciting new addition to their Lucky Charms marshmallow lineup: Ukraine Flag charms, available for a limited time only.
“All the proceeds from this special edition of Lucky Charms go to Ukraine, much like your taxes,” said General Mills CEO Jeff Harmening. “Now, with every bite of the delicious, nutritious Lucky Charms cereal, you’re getting yourself ready for the day – and you’re energizing the brave soldiers of Ukraine to go punch Putin in the face.”
“Take a bite out of Putin!”
In a new commercial for the special edition of Lucky Charms, Lucky the Leprechaun is replaced by a cartoon version of Ukraine President Volodymyr Zelenskyy, who follows a rainbow to find a magical pot full of new Abrams tanks, missile launchers, and anti-air batteries. “They’re magically destructive! Yipee! Mamma mia! Wait, what ethnicity was I supposed to be again?” he says happily as he rides along the rainbow. “Wheeeeeee!!!”
The cereal company also reminded customers that supporting Ukraine “is part of a balanced breakfast, just like sugar, corn starch, modified corn starch, corn syrup, trisodium phosphate, and red 40.”
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Tonight’s musical offering:
Summer Samba (also known as “So Nice” or its original Portuguese title, “Samba de Verão”) arranged and performed on piano by Sangah Noona. Composed by Brazilian Marcos Valle, lyrics by Paulo Sérgio Valle, and English lyrics by Norman Gimbel. – Sangah Noona
Dispatches from the Asylum 