What comes from the sky when the seasons change to Autumn and eventually to Winter and the temperature drops…why, of course, snow.
Not earth-shattering news to many. But to listen to the local weather people and teleprompter readers of our local news station here in the city where the Asylum rests, such events haven’t happened for…at least 9 months. Jesus, Mary and Joseph! Get out the doomsday prepper stuff – the end may be near!
There could be slick roads, icy roads, roads with melted caramel, school delays and our favorite weather prediction when wet, heavy snow falls in Autumn – power outages. Who could predict such never-before-recorded events? Only the news readers and weather reporting bots because like playing a demanding Bach fugue that requires a certain level of talent and practice – only these modern day mensa’s can figure out such unpredictabilities from Mother Nature.
But not satisfied with their gleeful looks with anxious anticipation of reporting of cold homes, no internet connections and downed tree limbs on cars and roadways – the weather reporting geniuses need a hook. You know, something to get you to tune in to watch what you already know is happening just by looking out your apartment, home or corporate prison window. Like what, you may be wondering? How about a 4 wheel drive vehicle with snow tires and fancy twirling objects on the top of it. And how about giving it a name – like the “beast”. Yeah, that’ll work. That’s what a local news channel has done here. Genius!
Astonishingly, this vehicle can go exactly where your vehicle can go – out on the streets. But what’s really cool is that they have this person with a camera, and they go out on the streets this vehicle takes them to, and get this…they get out of the beast, and they turn the camera on and broadcast weather! Yeah, that same shyte happening outside your home. Flippin’ miraculous!
But what if your budget won’t allow for the purchase of your own personal beast to launch your broadcasting career and you still want a job in journalism? How, pray tell, can one get such a plum job?
We turn it over to Julian Assange for the blueprint:
Want to be a Western journalist in 2017? You can do it!
First, “Pick a globally newsworthy event” which the Russian press “will also be reporting it by definition.”
Second, “Write story: Russian state secretly behind globally newsworthy event as proved by their press reporting it.”
And finally “Profit!”
Back in 1963, Johnny Mathis didn’t have any trouble with snowy days. But with the doom and gloom reporting from modern-day broadcast mensa’s, it seems America circa 2017 is in for some dreadful days.
Johnny Mathis: “A Marshmallow World”
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Photo credit: http://www.unsplash.com/@hahnbo