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“I get along quite well with someone only when he is at his lowest point and has neither the desire nor the strength to restore his habitual illusions.”
― The Trouble With Being Born
(For those who may not be aware or might be too lazy to look it up, Satire, as employed brilliantly in the article below, is a literary work holding up human vices and follies to ridicule or scorn, or more to the point: ‘the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people’s stupidity or vices.’)
US police capture Hamas leader at US university – by Laura k – normalislandnews.co.uk
They stopped the 73 year old woman by shoving a bike in her face
In dramatic developments, police officers at Washington State University have arrested the leader of a Hamas terror cell: 73-year-old presidential candidate Jill Stein.
The arrest of Stein is considered to be the most significant moment in the war on terror since the killing of Osama Bin Laden in 2011. You will be relieved to hear many members of Stein’s Islamist cell were taken down, including her campaign manager, deputy campaign manager, and one hundred university students who had been chanting the Jihadist slogan “ceasefire now!”
Israel has advised US authorities to deny the terrorists access to lawyers and shackle them until their limbs have to be amputated. It has also advised that if any protesters remain on campus, the best strategy is to send in bulldozers to bury them alive, in self-defence, of course. Israel has thanked the US for diverting attention from the mass graves that have been found in Gaza.
It was feared that if Americans were aware that mass graves containing around 700 bodies had been found around hospitals in Gaza, they might break free from the MSM hypnosis and develop empathy for Palestinians. Thankfully, they now have a bigger crisis to focus on – teary Zionists who claim they feel “unsafe” in Missouri.
Terror leader Stein was captured at Washington State University where she had outrageously tried to de-escalate tensions by making a speech and pleading with police officers to calm the fuck down. It was clearly impossible for onlookers who didn’t need to be there to calm down because Hamas terrorists were scaring everyone by sitting on the ground, eating snacks. This meant police were forced to act.
Officers heroically rushed into the picnic and started grabbing people wielding half-eaten sandwiches and bottles of water. Among the people they shoved around, until she was arrested, was Jill Stein. A police officer showed remarkable restraint by not shooting Stein with his assault rifle, instead repeatedly shoving his bicycle into the 73-year-old woman’s face, which is a perfectly legitimate crowd control tactic.
Police later confirmed Stein was arrested due to serious concerns she was providing political opposition to the uniparty. Her arrest should help ensure America’s presidential choices are the guy who supports a woke genocide and the guy who supports an anti-woke genocide.
Stein claims to be the leader of the Green Party, but this can’t be true because it is illegal for US politicians to not take bribes from AIPAC. As part of the swearing in process, members of Congress and the Senate hold up a Bible and say the words “Israel has a right to defend itself” three times without blinking. If they fail to do this, they are chained and lowered into a pit of lava. Recordings of their screams are periodically played to politicians to remind them to stay in line.
As a precautionary measure, the CIA has declared the Green Party is Hamas, just like the United Nations and TikTok, and anyone who supports the Greens will be sent to Guantanamo Bay. Stein had already been censored on social media because the CIA labelled her a Russian operative because she objected to their obsession with starting wars. Remember, Russia is bad because it crushes dissent and jails political opposition. Thankfully, the good guys have been doing everything they can to ensure Stein is silenced, but even they didn’t reckon on her joining Hamas.
Any Jewish person who opposes genocide is Hamas because Jews are only allowed to have one set of opinions. If they diverge from the group think, they are “self-hating Jews” and therefore fair game for the police state. It’s good to know the war on terror is keeping Americans safe from wrong think x
CORRECTION: An earlier version of this article said the arrest of Stein took place at Washington state. However, Washington State University is not in Washington state, just like Washington DC is not in Washington state. The university is in Missouri (I think) and the city is at the opposite end of the country. This is one of the many reasons why the US is the most rational country on earth x
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Dispatches from the Asylum 