Sucking Through Corporate Straws

Long ago, in worlds long since extinguished, there were no corporations.

Those living ‘the dream’ back then did so without hideously ugly concrete and steel structures along the by-ways, gobbling up nature, beckoning innocents looking for a means of a living to come in, as the water was warm.

As many have found out before, and those currently entering the corporate bastions of insanity are quickly coming to terms with, working for nearly any of these insane asylum’s of the corporate world makes for a tough day.

Upon arriving at the parking lot, dread sets in.  It’s followed by a distasteful smack in the face when one sits down at their desk knowing that the next 8 hours or more will be spent sucking up to supervisors, managers, their managers, customers, and even co-workers, many of whom have yet to have the dawn of thought.

So, when Starbucks announces to the world that they will be, currently are, or at some point in the future, will be going “straw-free”, in an effort to reduce plastics – the sucking world sucks it up and bends a knee to their forethought, their righteousness, their sense of community and concern for the world at large. All hail the corporate monster! Gloriously inept C-level officers had a meeting with God and came back with a stone tablet showing them “the way”.


Starbucks bans plastic straws; winds up using more plastics – via

The coffee giant says that by 2020 it hopes to have eliminated all single-use plastic straws at its 28,000 stores worldwide. It will now top all its cold drinks with fancy new strawless lids that the company currently serves with its cold brew nitro coffees. (Frappuccinos will still be served with a compostable or paper straw.)

As is to be expected, Starbucks’ decision was greeted with universal adulation.

The World Wildlife Fund and Ocean Conservancy both provided ebullient quotes for Starbucks’ press releases. Liberal magazine The New Republic praised the move as an “environmental milestone.” Slate hailed the Starbucks straw ban as evidence of as a victory for a bona fide anti-straw movement, one that would hopefully lead to bans of more things plastic in years to come.

Yet missing from this fanfare was the inconvenient fact that by ditching plastic straws, Starbucks will actually be increasing its plastic use. As it turns out, the new nitro lids that Starbucks is leaning on to replace straws are made up of more plastic than the company’s current lid/straw combination.

Right now, Starbucks patrons are topping most of their cold drinks with either 3.23 grams or 3.55 grams of plastic product, depending on whether they pair their lid with a small or large straw. The new nitro lids meanwhile weigh either 3.55 or 4.11 grams, depending again on lid size.

Geez…that sucks!

Having spent too many years of my life in the corporate rat-hole at almost all levels – this is par for the course.

There might be a few ‘gifted’ individuals at these halls of massed produced nonsense, whether technologically inclined, managerially talented, or just smart…sadly, they are cast aside for the uninspiring-minded, the talentless – the drama-addicted nutjobs who shouldn’t leave the house each day, let alone have their hands on or their minds engaged in making anything ‘better’ when their entire worldview is one nightmare after another.

It’s a band of misfits leading the charge at the modern day corporation who come up with one idea, followed by another idea – all of which suck, sending forth the unwilling to reward their incompetence. And CEO’s and their executive staff’s are nicely rewarded for nonsense, stupidity, arrogance and full-on insanity.

We, the buying-public, continue to drink of their strange brew.

From the production of electronic goo that might eventually either kill us all off, or at the least make life one giant, piece of f**kery; to ‘medicine’ that is suppose to help us when we are ill, only to lead us to further addictions for more of the barf Big Pharma produces to ward off the side-effects of the initial vomit they produced; to media conglomerates more interested in passing off their particular brand of stench as the truth – followed up by the great gig of all corporations in the sky – the US government, where citizens are subject to the atrocities, pain, suffering and lies the corporation offers up – it is a steady stream of guano

They pass off war as peace, injustice as justice; lack of, or non-existent health care as affordable, and making a country great again by doing the same BS that has been done before by past corporate/government heads – being a utopia where THEY are rewarded in the millions and billions, and you – you struggle to make it through each day.

24/7 surveillance of its citizens, a police state out of control, and ripping off Americans every which way imaginable – all this is born in Hell. Surely, the Heavens must weep.

The corporate C-level psychopath’s are laughing all the way…not just to the banks they own, but laughing themselves to sleep, drunk from their own delusions that profiting from the labors of others is what makes them savior’s of the unclean.

The truth of the matter is that they don’t care, and never will.  They are foreigner’s to justice, to honesty, to compassion and truth. They live by narcism, and if they die from it – they haven’t a care.

How long we continue to put up with this is left for each of us to decide – we pray our disgust of it all, along with our noncompliance comes quickly.

“Democracy gives the beatification of mediocrity a certain appearance of objective and demonstrable truth. The mob man, functioning as citizen, gets a feeling that he is really important to the world—that he is genuinely running things. Out of his maudlin herding after rogues and mountebacks there comes to him a sense of vast and mysterious power—which is what makes archbishops, police sergeants, the grand goblins of the Ku Klux and other such magnificoes happy. And out of it there comes, too, a conviction that he is somehow wise, that his views are taken seriously by his betters — which is what makes United States Senators, fortune tellers and Young Intellectuals happy. Finally, there comes out of it a glowing consciousness of a high duty triumphantly done which is what makes hangmen and husbands happy.” ~ H.L. Mencken


Tonight’s musical offering:

W. A. Mozart – Requiem: Lacrimosa – Requiem (Sir Colin Davis  [HQ] The legendary 1967 recording.


Photo credit (front page):


  1. Decker, I love this post. I did wonder about that when I heard about the lids. Not that I’ve personally weighed a lid vs. a straw, but it does seem logical that a straw has less plastic. Plus, as I saw pointed out somewhere else, straws are better for your teeth because less of your enamel is exposed to all the sugar in Starbucks drinks (and let’s face it, nearly everything they sell has a TON of sugar, which is part of the reason why I’ve stopped going there).

    Great musical selection, too, as always! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Natalie. Great point about using a straw can be better for your teeth because less enamel is exposed to the junk in Starbucks drinks. And happy you enjoyed the music. 🙂 Thanks for stopping by.

      Liked by 1 person

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