The Fast/Casual Final Judgement

“Push back against the age as hard as it pushes against you.” ― Flannery O’Connor

If there is something akin to a “final judgement” for souls living in the modern world of instant everything, where upon death you encounter a white light and ascend to the cosmos for the last review of your life…it will be probably be quick, and casual.

Forget the nonsense of your whole life flashing before your eyes – much too long and involved.  Too many protests can be waged.  Too many “but I didn’t know” that Mom had stage 4 cancer or that my brother had been imprisoned on some hyped-up marijuana possession charge for the last year – come on, I was busy texting. Plus, these type of reviews take too long to go over for every person presently living, some 9 Billion or so, depending on what guano-filled population study one believes.

Via Sir Henry, editor-in-chief here at the Asylum, and canine extraordinaire, who interpreted a bit of “sotto voce” protests that the true ruler of all activities here at the Asylum (“she who must be obeyed”) expressed recently…everything is fast/casual these days…and it’s depressing.

Fast/casual, from this writer’s casual research, usually refers to dining/eating – participating in sustenance activities to propel one to live on.

rawpixel-236143-unsplashEvidently, the younger generation doesn’t really want to be bothered with sitting down and eating to gather replenishment of brain cells and strength that will allow them read a few more hundred texts before the next meal. They want something fast but not “fast-food”, and something casual, since that’s all their lifestyle really affords.  Dressing up for a slowly prepared and tasteful meal requires a bit more of an effort than what they’re willing to put forth…say tucking in one’s shirt, if you happen to be a guy. And for the truly “casual” it requires getting out of your pajama’s to go to the grocery store. Screw that!

So, when the final curtain falls on this grand comedy/tragedy that too many take way too seriously (including, at times, this writer) the casual-after-death meeting with the board of cosmos creators might involve a casual (and fast) review of one’s life before proceeding onto whatever next grand experiment each individual soul might be assigned in the next life.

It’s too casual and quick to even attempt to write about. More than likely it will involve being instantly assigned some uber menial task, say that of counting the number of ants in a particular ant hill, or counting the numbers of mind-numbing texts sent during a hum-drum type of day that involved anything more than telling someone where they were and what fast/casual meal they’d just had.

Fast/casual eating, fast/casual hook-up’s, fast/casual relationships, fast/casual thinking, fast/casual final judgements, fast/casual restroom visits in a Starbucks of your choosing – it’s all very cool, very casual and of course, very fast, except maybe the restroom visits!

Life in the modern era has progressed magnificently.


Tonight’s musical offering:

TOMASO ALBINONI (1671 – 1751) Concerto No. 2 for oboe and strings in D minor Op. 9

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