Everything is a Frickin’ Festival

“For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen.” ~  Douglas Adams

Fear of missing out (FOMO) is the latest dreaded anxiety to befall citizens in the richest country in the world.

As Summer approaches, and too much skin is revealed that sends even the strongest of stomach’s to a permanent state of feeling the urge to barf, one is bombarded via texts, ads, flyers, social media nausea and carrier pigeons of the latest frickin’ festival that must be attended, for if not, you may be missing out…on something.

Art festivals, music festivals, food festivals, beer festivals, wine festivals, horse racing festivals, street festivals, a taste of everything distasteful festivals, cloud watching festivals, backyard BBQ festivals of neighbors you can’t stand…if you don’t attend, Fomo may creep in.

What exactly you might be missing if, instead of “festivaling”, you make the unexplainable decision to stay home and, heaven forbid, read a book, make a phone call to a friend or loved one in need or just have a cocktail by yourself, is never really explained.  But how could it, for if you opt out of attending the latest drunk-fest in your area, you’re not missing out on anything other than watching other people drink themselves into a bloody stupor.

Sadly, the “everything is a frickin’-festival” syndrome is even creeping into one’s job at the local slave factory they attend 5 days or more a week.

The epic morning meetings of bleary-eyed festival attendees from the night before must be met with the same glee that they gave the stinking beer festival they attended the night before.

Conference call festivals of listening to unhinged co-workers blather on about nothing important is the norm in corporate-jive America. Listening to incompetents, a/k/a sub-mediocrities, wax poetically about their inner nonsense makes the morning croissant difficult to digest.

If you happen to be dragged to one of these festivals by one of your well-meaning but completely misguided friends, it doesn’t take long to come to the understanding that the latest festival is usually nothing more than nothing happening from one moment to the next…except for the pleasure of watching inebriation in its various forms.

Party on!

“You shall know the truth and the truth shall make you odd.”
― Flannery O’Connor

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Tonight’s musical offering: (3 minutes of delight)

Amadeus ~ Rondo Alla Turca ~ Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

Photo credit:  http://www.unsplash.com/@gbarkz