Dogs Barking through the Night

“As democracy is perfected, the office of president represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.”
― H.L. Mencken, On Politics: A Carnival of Buncombe

As most of us here at the Asylum are a bit older, we do seem to remember that the country has had more than its share of morons who’ve served time as president.

So, as the media has a cow about Trump’s tweets, voicing his opinion on everything from 3 judges to the “unfair” treatment by a retail chain over his daughters fashion line,  we thought it would be fun to take a look at the more notable antics (not policies) of past presidents. Here’s a few of the more memorable ones to remind us that no matter who occupies the office, whether Democrat or Republican, they’re all a little touched in the head – some more so than others.

LBJ and “jumbo”

In his memoirs, longtime Johnson aide George Reedy painted an ugly portrait of LBJ, accusing him of being a womanizing, perverted drunkard who delighted in having conversations with people while he sat on the toilet for the sole purpose of making them uncomfortable and bullying his staff to the point of sadism. Johnson was especially fond of whipping out his manhood, which he’d dubbed “Jumbo,” in mixed company

White House Says President Would Like to Punch Safire – NY Times – 1996

The chief White House spokesman told reporters today that President Clinton would like to punch the New York Times columnist William Safire in the nose because of a column on Monday in which Mr. Safire wrote that the President’s wife, Hillary, had shown herself to be “a congenital liar.”

Forbes.com – 8/20/2102

Andrew Jackson was known to write letters to the editors of sympathetic newspapers, giving them instructions on how to counter the opposition attacks while providing material for editors to use in launching scurrilous attacks on Jackson’s opponent who happened to be the President of the United States.

From President Harry S. Truman to Washington Post music critic, Paul Hume, after reading Mr. Hume’s assessment of his daughter’s singing performance:  (and here)

Mr Hume:

I’ve just read your lousy review of Margaret’s concert. I’ve come to the conclusion that you are an “eight ulcer man on four ulcer pay.”

It seems to me that you are a frustrated old man who wishes he could have been successful. When you write such poppy-cock as was in the back section of the paper you work for it shows conclusively that you’re off the beam and at least four of your ulcers are at work.

Some day I hope to meet you. When that happens you’ll need a new nose, a lot of beefsteak for black eyes, and perhaps a supporter below!

Pegler, a gutter snipe, is a gentleman alongside you. I hope you’ll accept that statement as a worse insult than a reflection on your ancestry.

H.S.T.

Warren G. Harding

During his presidency, scandals lurked behind every door, and he was clueless about all of it. The Republicans nominated Harding partially because he was a handsome fellow and women were voting for the first time in 1920. Of course, Harding couldn’t bother to even be present when, as senator, he had a chance to actually vote for the bill granting women’s suffrage. But he did like women, at least judging from his numerous extramarital affairs. He also enjoyed alcohol-fueled parties in the White House, which was awkward, considering his presidency was smack dab in the middle of Prohibition. H.L. Mencken said of Harding, “He writes the worst English I have ever encountered. It reminds me of a string of wet sponges; it reminds me of tattered washing on the line; it reminds me of stale bean soup, of college yells, of dogs barking idiotically through endless nights.”

And, of course, we can’t leave out those presidents who dallied outside their marriages – some a little, some a lot.  Bill Clinton, JFK, FDR, Grover Cleveland, James Buchanan, LBJ – just to name a few

All the cackling from offended media saints, outraged politicians who don’t seem to know much about history, protesters hurling bricks, Hollywood mensa’s queuing up their single digit IQ’s to lecture the masses, and other assorted nut jobs – sanctimonious harping about a president speaking his mind is about as pleasant to listen to as that dog, barking idiotically through endless nights.

So, while most of the main stream media, some alternative media outlets, rioting protesters, vagabonds, illiterates of all types and, in general, most of the public (so we’re told) seem to be so incensed with Mr. Trump and his speaking his mind during his extremely long 3 week tenure in the oval office that they’re coming unhinged at the seams of sanity, they shouldn’t get too bent out of shape yet. If the antics of past presidents are any indication of what’s ahead  – just imagine the “fun” still to come!



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