Overseas reporter for Dispatches from the Asylum, Ms. Ukusi Menya, former counter espionage agent with TASS News Agency/Moscow, runner-up in Ms. Moscow Pageant, and part-time bassoon player for Greater Volga Symphonic Orchestra provides her take on the latest hijinks from our government of adolescents.
(Editors note: As always, we appreciate your patience with Ms. Menya’s english)
Comrades, yet once again, I have to say I told you how adult leader of Mother Russia handles his self in upstanding way in the midst of wading through soup of mental midgets that appears to be your out-going adminstration.
I am currently thinking that CIA operations and Unintelligence guys have shortage of fine loving dogs to show them true meaning of life. Either that or they are such dumbski’s they forget they are humans too and should cease with endless childish antics and instead have nice drink of vodka on ice cubes to calm their desires to start yet another of their senseless wars.
While current United States administration throws baby tantrum and does expulsion of Russian diplomats, Putin handles situation as adult thusly:
(Full Putin Statement:)
We regard the recent unfriendly steps taken by the outgoing US administration as provocative and aimed at further weakening the Russia-US relationship. This runs contrary to the fundamental interests of both the Russian and American people. Considering the global security responsibilities of Russia and the United States, this is also damaging to international relations as a whole.
As it proceeds from international practice, Russia has reasons to respond in kind. Although we have the right to retaliate, we will not resort to irresponsible ‘kitchen’ diplomacy but will plan our further steps to restore Russian-US relations based on the policies of the Trump Administration.
The diplomats who are returning to Russia will spend the New Year’s holidays with their families and friends. We will not create any problems for US diplomats. We will not expel anyone. We will not prevent their families and children from using their traditional leisure sites during the New Year’s holidays. Moreover, I invite all children of US diplomats accredited in Russia to the New Year and Christmas children’s parties in the Kremlin.
It is regrettable that the Obama Administration is ending its term in this manner. Nevertheless, I offer my New Year greetings to President Obama and his family.
My season’s greetings also to President-elect Donald Trump and the American people.
I wish all of you happiness and prosperity.
Sounds like derangeful nut, eh? We think not!
I guess current US administration has to try to throw donkey wrench into transfer to new administration in hopes to keep pot boiled over with nasty feelings. Sadness that current administration has to blame Russia for everything from bad weather, broken down jalopies, crumpling roads, highways and such, rather than acting adutly and admitting failed presidential bid of Hillary Clinton was because of many factors, none of which is the sidesplitting brouhaha of made up story of hacking of computer systems.
Maybe is pleasant fantasy for certain elements of CIA to imagine Russian peoples in PJ’s scattered in basements across motherland playing on keyboards to notch votes certain ways. Nice try, comrades. You have enough hackers in US to do that job. Believe it or not, we have better things to do than attempting meddlesome hankering. Vodka on ice cubes, listening to great American jazz sounds much better.
If you want to read detailed article that puts truth forth on this nonsense, rather than imagining fantasy from CIA and other Unintelligence agencies who appear to want tensions increased, or even worse, nuclear war – check out the following…
After enlightenment, settle back and do what we do here at Russian penthouse at Dispatches from the Asylum – vodka on ice cubes, with splashes of mint kombucha mixed in, listening to GREAT American jazz master, Mr. Wynton Marsalis
Wynton Marsalis – Big Fat Hen – 8/13/2005 – Newport Jazz Festival
Good bye and remember as I always say… Я бу́ду борщ с больши́м коли́чеством смета́ны
(Editors note: Я бу́ду борщ с больши́м коли́чеством смета́ны translates to: I’ll take borshch with lots of sour cream)