LAURA AND NORMAL ISLAND NEWS
Since 7 October 2023, Israel has embarked on a noble mission to ensure the full truth about Gaza can never be made public. It has painstakingly located Palestinian journalists with the kind help of tech companies like Meta and Google (who store everyone’s location data for non-sinister purposes).
Israel has used the location data to eliminate the journalists and then carpet-bomb the surrounding area just to be safe. While some understandably get upset by this process, it’s important to understand the journalists are using human shields and this makes the bombings okay.
Israel has proudly killed three times more journalists than were killed in World War I and II combined, and it achieved all of that on a tiny strip of land. This is why the IDF is the world’s most moral army.
In a recent assassination, Israel eliminated the voice of Gaza, Anas Al Sharif, along with the four members members of his Al Jazeera crew. Thankfully, they made the identification process easy for Israel by wearing press vests and staying in a media tent. Such tents are irresistible targets for bored drone operators.
Infuriatingly, the world refused to accept Israel’s made up story that the Al Jazeera crew were a Hamas cell cunningly doing journalism to disguise their terrorist activities.
Bafflingly, the world has lamented the humanitarian situation in Gaza where people are living in tents for unknown reasons and occasionally dying from sadness, despite Israel’s best efforts to protect the civilians that it cares so deeply about.
Israel has gone to great lengths to keep the narrative as vague as possible because every time it is asked for evidence it gets caught faking it. Most recently it was caught faking a social media post from Anas Al Sharif to make it look like he was Hamas. Israel wouldn’t have to go to such lengths if you believed what you were told.
A key problem has been that Palestinian journalists have been able to successfully reveal pieces of the truth before Israel could eliminate them. An infuriated Netanyahu insisted we are losing the PR war despite the algorithms and bots overwhelmingly being on our side.
The truth poses an existential threat to Israel so it has no choice but to eradicate every last truth teller in Gaza. Once Gaza is journalist-free, it will turn its attention to the west and ensure it is also journalist-free. Given there are about four actual journalists left in the west, this process shouldn’t take too long.
Once Israel has achieved full narrative control, you can rest assured the starvation and mass slaughter will have ended and anyone who suggests otherwise is a terrorist x
Dispatches from the Asylum 