***
Fauci Pushes Masks While Admitting There’s No Evidence They Work – via slaynews.com
Dr. Anthony Fauci is continuing to push for Americans to wear masks to allegedly stop the spread of new Covid variants.
During an appearance on CNN for a fearmongering Covid segment, Fauci argued that members of the general public should be masking up because the face coverings “might be protective.”
However, Fauci admitted during the same CNN interview that there’s no evidence to prove masks are effective in stopping the spread of Covid. (read more)
Oh no! Where will the braindead and do-gooders beam their oxygen deprived faces covered with a fabric of saliva, phlegm and other unpleasantries now? Yes, you guessed it. The braindead wouldn’t read the above article and if they did, would downshift into ass mode and convince themselves yet again that all their multiple personalities are working just fine, and can blame any past mistakes on one of their toxic personalities they’ve yet to share with you.
But being all things to everyone all the time can be oh-so-depressing…yet also lead to a new and exciting worldview:
***
And now, onto some fake news:
Biden Approves $40 Billion Worth Of Drugs To Be Airdropped To Burning Man – via babylonbee.com
BLACK ROCK CITY, NV — President Biden has approved an emergency shipment of $40 billion worth of drugs be airdropped to stranded revelers at the Burning Man Festival.
“Look, Jack, we have 70,000 hippies stranded in tents in the middle of the desert with no uppers, downers, OR psychedelics,” he noted from his beach chair in Delaware. “That’s why I’ve asked Congress to declare a state of emergency and rush these much-needed drugs to Nevada immediately!”
Sources noted that supplies of illicit substances had been running low after heavy rains stranded attendees in the desert for several days. “Many of these folks only brought enough drugs for two days,” a source at the festival noted. “As they remain stranded for the fourth day, people are beginning to reach critical levels of sobriety!”
A White House spokesman said President Biden has appointed his son Hunter to lead the operation. “Nobody knows more about obtaining and distributing drugs than the president’s son,” the spokesman said.
At publishing time, festival attendees complained that the emergency airdrop only seemed to contain $30 billion worth of drugs and that Hunter Biden was nowhere to be seen.
***
***
Global Warming Mysteriously Spikes Every Year Between June And August, Experts Say – via babylonbee.com
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The White House National Climate Task Force reported today that NASA scientists have discovered a mysterious spike in global warming every year between June and August.
“We’re completely stumped,” said Bob McMahon, White House National Climate Task Force spokesman. “Our satellite data confirms global warming keeps happening in America during these same months, almost like clockwork. Even stranger, global warming seems to hit South America in different months. Bizarre.”
Mr. McMahon went on to detail evidence of a massive rise in temperature occurring every year between the months of June and August, noting that in some places temperatures even reach over 100 degrees. “This year’s global warming is shaping up to be just as hot as last year’s,” said Mr. McMahon. “We don’t know why climate change strikes during these months, but we suspect it’s all the extra carbon emissions from people using air conditioning.”
Despite the compelling evidence, some scientists still disputed Mr. McMahon’s findings. “If the globe gets so hot every August, why am I sitting here wearing a sweater?” asked climate scientist Rachel Evanson. “And why am I having my husband carry around an extra coat and scarf? Ugh, it’s freezing in here.”
At publishing time, the Climate Task Force had decided to take action by making Google Maps tell people it’s really hot outside whenever they ask for directions.
***
***
Tonight’s musical offering:
Dispatches from the Asylum 