Good news!
If you’re one of those ‘giving’ type of people – you know, always there with a beauty of a joke or clever observation that is sure to have your friend, co-worker, mate, part-time online Zoom lover that you’re 100% positive your wife/husband won’t find out about, rolling on the floor with laughter – and you’ve grown a bit tired of the whole schtick because you get bupkis in return – consider going into Ass Mode.
Let’s face it. Those who take, take and take, and only send along dick pics and other boring photos in return for your efforts to lift their tastes out of gutter are so 1990’s. Time to get with it and become an online gutter demon just like these worthless slobs you keep entertaining with your witty sense of humor, elegance and style – of which they haven’t a clue about to begin with.
Shite for shite should be your motto to live by. Remember – you’re in Ass Mode. Sending along your funny observations and exaltations of life fall on deaf ears with these nitwits. Save your brilliant gems for your dog…they’ll understand and appreciate them better.
They send along a word salad of nonsense expecting adoration of their gibberish, switch into Ass Mode and send along the best poem you can conjure up describing the fresh mother lode your pet just left for you to scoop up. They’ll like that one…because, in truth, they don’t read what you send them anyway, they just sort of scan the words.
Sure…eventually, they’ll get the hint and disappear quicker than they dropped into your life, but really, how many dick pics and other flaccid and mindless offerings can one endure in this life?
Or…you could just buy them a book…
And in other good news…the gods may be relenting just a bit…
Hollywood Grinds To A Halt As Actors And Writers Go On Strike Together For First Time In Six Decades – via zerohedge.com
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Tonight’s musical offering:
Dispatches from the Asylum 